You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
