At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
