Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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