32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize