Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
