its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
