i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
