Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
