he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Oh god it's open bar.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
