my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
