We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
