It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
