And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
