Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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