on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
