Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
