yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
