these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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