God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
