Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
