i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
