Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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