So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
