He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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