hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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