I cannot find my penis.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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