i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
