i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
