some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I FOUND THE LEGS
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
