so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
