trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i need some magic done to my vagina
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
