I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
