I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
