Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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