Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
