i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
