My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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