You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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