I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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