Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Randomize
