"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
