bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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