I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
