so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
