you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
