that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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