Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
