Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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