We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
