I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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