her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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