He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
