Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
ttyl tear gas
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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