I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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