a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
