Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
