Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize