The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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